Thursday, May 6, 2010

Australian Horror Story

An Australian horror story:

Mum was perusing the main floor of David Jones (an Australian department store) when behind her, she heard a woman yell.  She turned  and saw a petite Korean woman revving up a bad case of screaming hysterics.  It was quite clear why. A huge, black spider - about two and a half inches across, with a fat juicy abdomen the size and shape of a large pulsating grape, had delicately picked its way out of her purse and was walking across the counter. 
            "Kill it!" the lady screamed.  "My God, Kill It!"
            The strapping Australian male behind the counter turned to Mum and said "May I borrow your sandal, Madam?"  Mum gave him her sandal, and he squashed the horror flat with her shoe.
            The spider was dead but the hysterics didn't stop - the poor woman was in mortal terror of her handbag. She begged the man to go through it for her looking for more spider.
            Nothing doing.  Nuh, huh.  Mr Virile Australian Male was scared stiff.
            If it'd been Mum or I, we'd probably have run to the nearest ladies room and emptied the bag out all over the floor and picked things up afterward, but this lady wasn't exactly in a thoughtful frame of mind.
            Mum suggested that the woman look to her wallet - that was the top item in the purse, and the spider seemed to have come from that direction -
                        Very gingerly, the woman picked up her wallet - and across the front of it was stretched a thick mat of white webbing.
            Slowly, the woman turned the wallet over.  The other side of it had become a densely woven spider nest.
            "Three days I've been in this country! Three days! I used that purse last night!"
            The screaming moved into a higher gear, and telling the story, Mum shrugged helplessly.             "There wasn't anything I could do, so I left.  She could see the eggs."

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