Thursday, April 14, 2011


Horse was a cat
            She trilled.  She sang at you. "Please pet me?  Stroke my fur - it's soft!" She fixed me with her golden eyes.  Raised a front paw appealingly.  Hopped up to the back of the sofa, so that she could transfix me from closer to.
            I of course, was hardened.  I am allergic.  I ignored.
            She twined lasciviously, between my legs, laying a tail up my thigh, singing.
            I was resolute.  I sat on the sofa, looking firmly in the other direction.
            She chirruped softly, standing up on her hind legs so that she could rest her chin, appealingly, on my knee.
            "No."  I said.  Very firmly.
            She vented a short huff of exasperation.  I was one thick human.  Two soft thumps and she was next to me on the sofa.  Two delicate footfalls and she was on my lap.  She sat down solidly, shot me a firm look, and closed her eyes and commenced to purr.
            The Architect wandered in, looking for a protractor and burst out laughing.  Scooping her out of my lap, he said "Looks like she's decided that you pass the test."
            "Has anyone failed to pass it, Sir?"
            "Not yet!"
            Horse was enormously fat.  Her belly swung back and forth above the ground as she walked.  When she sat on her backside to wash herself, a delicate tongue extended to a fine, delicate leg that extended from a wide spreading puddle of black and white fur.  She ooozed.
            I would have liked a cat exactly like Horse.

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